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Unitarian Universalist Society of Fairhaven "Cupid's Capers" Rev. Ann C. Fox |
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In past Sundays we have all worked quite hard examining racism, identifying our First Principle and how to use it in our lives, and struggling with things going on in the world and how to evaluate them. But today I speak to you on a lighter note for I speak about love. When I was growing up in England, I experienced St. Valentine's Day as a day for lovers or secret loves. Young girls hoped for a Valentine from a secret admirer. One year, my beautiful and popular older sister got not one but three Valentine cards with "Guess Who" as a signature. When I didn't get even one card I felt so awful. How happy I was a year later when I got my first Valentine card from a secret admirer. I remember these two occasions equally well. This tradition in England has a long history. As early as the thirteenth century Geoffrey Chaucer mentions Valentines and so does Shakespeare in the sixteenth century. We were well schooled in Greek and Roman myth so I knew that Cupid was the mischievous son of Venus, Roman goddess of love. He wounds gods and humans with his arrows, causing them to fall deeply in love. He is commonly represented in art as a naked, winged infant, often blindfolded, carrying a bow and a quiver of arrows. The Greek counterpart of Cupid is Eros, god of sensual love. St. Valentine (there were actually two) was the saint whose name replaced a former fertility festival. One St. Valentine disobeyed Emperor Claudius' edict to not allow soldiers to marry and so he lost his life in the cause of love (and of course, Christianity). The first Valentine card, sent in 1415, is in the British Museum. It was sent by Charles, Duke of Orleans who wrote romantic verses to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London. This was all long before the first recorded birthday card! Certain symbols of love became associated with St. Valentine from the Middle Ages, like red hearts, roses or flowers, lace, lovebirds and doves, and love knots, and of course, Cupid. There is a whole collection of antique cards in the British Museum. Chocolates and jewelry are a later addition. There is a certain lightness to the kind of love initiated by the mischievous Cupid. People the world over smile to behold the "star-crossed" love of lovers because we all remember the emotion of being smitten so much by another person that we seem under a spell. However, we also fail to take it seriously because we know that it is the initial mythical stage of attraction that may not last. This is Eros the first of three kinds of love recognized by theologians and psychologists and is the one treasured by young girls. Research scientists believe this is the kind of love that urges us to "populate the world." (Roots, p.39) However, in the Bible, there is a remarkable book called the Song of Solomon that describes sensual love. Scholars think it may have been written by a woman and that the object of love is probably God. It was very popular in the monasteries and convents of the Middle Ages where the men and women might experience sexual love with God using the Song of Solom on as a model. Our modern response to honoring affection today can sometimes be amusing when we deal with male and female differences. Perhaps you saw the cartoon "Cathy" in the Standard Times yesterday. In frame one, a young man asks, "What should I get my girlfriend for Valentine's Day? Five girls, including Cathy, shout, "Diamond ring!" "Heart-shaped locket!" "Tickets to Paris!" "Collection of Romantic poetry!" "Scrapbook of our love!" In the second frame, two men reply, "A Zip Drive for her computer!" The other says, "Yes, yes!" In the last frame, Cathy stands with one of her girlfriends and says, "Put the Romance back in Valentine's Day. Let men and women buy their own gifts!" We all assume that if the love of lovers cannot deepen beyond eros (or the erotic) love, their relationship cannot last. The two other kinds of love are agape and philia, which are the two described in the New Testament and in the Letter of St. Paul to the Corinthian people that I read today. Irving Singer, a philosopher of love, argues that "[Of the world's religions], Christianity. . . has made love the dominant principle in all areas of dogma [where] God and love are the same." Jesus is regarded as the fullest revelation of divine love. Agape and philia love are often interchangeable. But agape love usually relates to unconditional love, the kind that no matter how awful is the behavior of a child, a partner, or any person, he or she still warrants our love. Philia love is associated with friendship, warmth and affection that comes from long-lasting ties. (Oord, p.38) Saint Paul was expressing a blend of agape and philia love when he said in the Letter to the Corinthians "Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. . .faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love." (I Corinthians 13:4-13) I believe that our Second Principle that "Affirms and promotes justice, equity, and compassion in human relationships" calls us to live out agape and filial love in our lives. So how would be want to define the love that we affirm and promote? Thomas Oord, a professor of theology and philosophy said,"To love is to act intentionally, in sympathetic response to others (including God), to increase overall well-being. Love acts are influenced by…a high degree of common good. . . . Aristotle called well-being 'eudaimonia'; Jesus called it 'abundant life'. . .Some simply call it 'flourishing'." But let us come back to the celebration of Valentine's Day. When I came to America and became a teacher, I was astounded to receive tiny Valentine cards and chocolate kisses and other sweet treats from students. I noticed that nieces and nephews sent cards to their favorite aunts and uncles, and grandchildren sent them to grandparents, and vice versa. Almost everyone got a Valentine card of sorts and so I passed it onto you today with a card that you can pass on to someone else and a sweet treat that you've probably already eaten! (Dear Reader, I put a valentine card and a chocolate kiss on every seat in the Parish Hall.) Above the Cathy cartoon I read earlier is a Peanuts one. The "innocent" Sally is pictured writing in the first frame. She writes, "Dear Valentine, I love you." In the next frame, she picks up the card, examines it and thinks. In the last frame she writes, "Whoever you are!" In America, I came to enjoy Valentine Day very much---no more mortification and rejection over a lack of secret admirers! It's a wonderful playful opportunity to spread affection and joy and sweet things around our lives. And I hope some of you will drop a word in Leo Brautigam's ear! (That's my husband!) But I also have another reason for talking about this topic. With all the tension going on around the world regarding war and peace, I believe it no longer helps us to focus on war or opposing it at this time. "It is better to focus on internal development, an outpouring of gratitude, love, compassion, kindness, and forgiveness" (Stevens, p8) as much as we possibly can. It will give us inner peace and will send out gentle waves of positive energy that will throw light on the great darkness. Only a focus such as this can counter the fear that can rob us of clarity and hope that peace can still be an option, which I believe can still occur. So let us steady ourselves, and meanwhile encourage agape and filial love and indulge a little in some harmless capers, inspired by Cupid.May we devote our inner lives to agape and philial love to bring light to the gathering darkness. But outwardly , may we spread Valentines and affection to everyone everywhere!
References
The following have informed and inspired this sermon:
Reading: I Corinthians 13:1-8,13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends . . . . faith hope and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. |
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