Reading:
From Living a Life That Matters by Rabbi Harold S. Kushner

         “…in the final analysis, the key to my immortality, the reassurance that my life has mattered and was not lived in vain, is not that different from the key to yours or anyone else’s. I find it in the work I have done, the acts of kindness I have performed, the love I have given and the love I have received, the people who will smile when they remember me, and the children and grandchildren through whom my name and memory will be perpetuated. I have cherished, and I would commend to you, the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson: ‘To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you lived—that is to have succeeded.’” (pp. 157)

Sermon

         Some years ago, I was serving a congregation in Canada, when on Christmas Eve, I answered the telephone. “Hello,” I said. “Hello,” a young woman’s voice said, “My brother and I want to have our dinner early tomorrow so that we can go and help others serve Christmas dinner to other people. Do you know where we can help?” I referred this sister and brother to the Salvation Army. When I hung up, I smiled and noticed how good it felt to hear someone reach out to help someone else. It was only a year earlier, when I had answered a similar call at my Boston church from a family the day before Thanksgiving. That time I was able to refer them to my own church which had a tradition of serving a Thanksgiving Turkey dinner at 12 noon for anyone who wanted to come. The congregation members who helped cook and serve the dinner also sat down with our “guests”, who were mostly the homeless of Boston. It is a powerful thing to sit down at a dinner table and converse with the homeless.

         Why are we more likely at such cultural celebrations as Thanksgiving and Christmas to think of doing something for others? I believe it has to do first with life slowing down so that we can think, and second, it has to do with us feeling blessed with our own circumstances and so we are able to think of others and want those blessings for them. But why not just enjoy our own blessings? I believe we are “wired” to care for others when we grow to a certain level within ourselves and our own basic needs are met. In fact, this “wiring” can become compelling for some of us and a gentle “urge” in others. These urges—to reach outside ourselves to benefit others—are the development of conscience in the individual and in a nation. No story in the Bible illustrates this better than the fabulous story of Jacob, the most fully developed character in the Bible (and the only one to fall in love), and it is also the longest story. Since it is also the sixth night of Hannukah, perhaps it is fitting to remind ourselves of a story from Jewish scripture (or the Old Testament).

         We remind ourselves of this story for it is, in large part, the story of human development. When the Jews think of their forefathers, they think of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Isaac was Abraham’s son and Jacob was Isaac’s son. Jacob was the twin of Esau. (The name “Jacob” means, “he who holds on.”) Actually Esau was born first and Jacob was born holding onto Esau’s heel. Esau grows up to be a big burly, red-hairy fellow, a physically action-oriented hunter and goat herder. (The name “Esau” means “red-haired.”) Jacob, the younger brother by about 10 seconds preferred a quieter life at home cooking and possibly managing their land since their father, Isaac was blind and thought to be dying. Jacob sent Esau out to hunt so that he could have a bowl of stew. While Esau was away, Rebecca Isaac’s wife and mother of Jacob and Isaac, urges Jacob to trick his father into thinking he is Esau and he receives Jacob’s blessing as the inheritor of his estate. When Esau finds out Jacob’s trickery, he vows to kill him when his father dies. Urged by Rebecca, Jacob gathers a few things and runs away to live with a distant cousin of his mother’s.

         On his first night away from home, Jacob, the frightened teen-ager, falls asleep and has a dream of a ladder that reaches from earth to heaven. He sees angels running up and down the ladder and feels the presence of God, who tells him that he will favor him and keep him safe. Jacob feels reassured that all will be well. After being a trickster himself, the great part of Jacob’s life is actually the story of how he must suffer the clever trickery of his uncle. But he will make all things be well by growing to accept responsibility for what he does and then finally facing his brother so that they can reconcile. One day, Jacob decides to go back to the land of his brother as a mature man with his entire family of wives and children.

         The night before Jacob is to meet his brother, he sends all of his family across the river while he stays on the opposite bank. He falls asleep only to be awakened by a man who he cannot see but who starts fighting him. He notices that this man is equal to him in strength and they wrestle the whole night long.

         There is much debate amongst theologians about who this attacker is. Most of them say that the man is an angel of God. At the end of the night, the so-called angel suggests that they stop fighting and asks Jacob, “What is your name?” Jacob replies that his name is “Jacob.” (We know that the name means, “one who holds on.”) The angel tells him that from now on your name is Israel, which means, “one who wrestles with God.”

         In his book Living a Life That Matters, Rabbi Harold Kushner says that he interprets the night of wrestling as Jacob wrestling with his conscience and his fear of meeting his brother. The next day, he must confront his big, brawny brother Esau, who Jacob fears may kill him. Kushner thinks that the question “What is your name?” is a way of asking, “What kind of man are you?” The change of name from Jacob to Israel is the coming of age when Jacob finds himself grown and worthy of the new name.

         What’s in a name? A name is a powerful thing. Most of the names in the Bible mean something about the character of a person. It is understandable that people sometimes change their name to match who they perceive themselves to be.

         The whole fabulous story of Jacob is in Genesis chapters 27 to 33. It will continue with his favorite son, Joseph, in Egypt. Why bother with a story that is embedded in a so-called scripture that has so much violence and many of the laws that we consider nowadays are ridiculous and unjust? What we called the Old Testament, or the Jewish Scripture, is the story of the “shaping” or the evolution of a people through their relationships from their childhood and adolescence into mature adulthood with a conscience. The horrific violence in the Bible is part of this growth. The development of conscience is eventually ensured if the people follow the laws as set down by their God.

         Even if we do not believe in God, we must nevertheless see that the people of this earth are here to learn to live together peacefully and to share what they have with others. And surely we can all see that the journey to peace and sharing is an ongoing one.

         The things that matter in our lives are first and foremost the quality of our relationships. Are they reciprocally kind? If they are not of good quality and kind with our family, how are they with friends or the people with whom we work? The cultural holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas call families and friends together to nurture or mend their good or broken relationships and these times also stimulate us to think about what we can do for others. Thus it is that I am more likely to get calls at Thanksgiving and Christmas asking what can be done for others. The impulse to care for others is strong in those whose human development is advancing. Sometimes this help is expressed closer to home and neighborhood and sometimes far and wide. It is conscience and a desire to share our blessings that move our hearts to better relationship and help for others.

         It is six years now since the Shepherd’s Pantry was formed and supported by five churches in Fairhaven: the Church of the Good Shepherd, the Lutheran church, St. Joseph’s, St. Mary’s, and this church. Until recently, the Pantry was housed in our basement but in June of this year it moved to more spacious quarters on ground level in an Acushnet United Methodist Church. I noticed with appreciation this fall that our regular contributions to the Pantry have increased. How good that is!

         Those of you who are new to our church might see baskets for food contributions in the baptismal area of this sanctuary and in the Parish Hall. Only by our contributions of food can the Pantry serve others. Most of the people who come to the Pantry are from New Bedford but also from Fairhaven, Acushnet, Dartmouth, Mattapoisett, and Marion. Our church has also helped for many years in a soup kitchen that serves lunch in Pilgrim United church in New Bedford. These endeavors, to feed the needy, help us to make a difference at the most important level of human help—that of providing food for others. In this way, the Pantry and the soup kitchen bless us for by them, we too are blessed. Another blessing from our feeding of others is that we work together with the Lutheran, Episcopal, Catholic, and now Methodist churches. Our relationships with the people in these other churches help us to be more tolerant and accepting of other religions.

         Jacob lived a life that mattered in that he struggled with himself but he also worked on his relationships and in the end he did the right thing with his father-in-law and his brother. While it is true that we did not see Jacob helping others, we are simply extending the work of conscience to the next level—that of love to our neighbor in the way of service. Why bother with a Bible story as an illustration of the development of conscience? The Jacob and Esau story is a powerful one. Stories are powerful and so they are passed on. And they are included in scripture with all their warts as well as their wisdom.

         Many of you took tags off the Christmas tree to buy gifts for the Holiday Hope program. Lisa Elliott, our Director of Religious Education told me that it was wonderful to see our children sitting in a line in the Parish Hall cutting out the tags for the Holiday Hope tree. The effort to give the gifts of the tree began with our children. This is a major part of their religious education, part of their ethical development, part of their doing things withothers for the sake of others, a critical part of their learning to create a life that matters.

         At this time of year, we like to share our blessings with the Guest at Your Table box—this little box—which we ask that you keep it on your Table each meal and put extra change into and have your children or grand-children participate as well. We like to bring these boxes to our first Sunday of the year service, which is January 2nd, and put them all together in a basket. Our youth count up the change and we send the proceeds to the Unitarian Universalist Service Committee (the UUSC for short) to help them do their human rights work around the world. For those of us who are able, we can put in a check for $60 in the box, which will be matched by a special fund in our wealthiest church, Shelter Rock on Long Island. And by the way, every time you buy a packet of fair trade coffee in the Parish House, a small amount of that $6 goes to the UUSC as well as supporting poor coffee growers. These are a few of the things we do as a church on a regular basis to share our blessings.

         Thanksgiving and Christmas are human inventions of times in our lives that are actually “timeless” periods when we can put aside the cares of working, earning, and planning to savor the joy of just being together in the moment. Let us enjoy it completely knowing that our full and complete enjoyment of these periods, in all the human togetherness and the giving and receiving, hold the key to living a life that matters.

References

The following has inspired and informed this sermon:

Kushner, Harold C. Living a Life That Matters: Resolving the Conflict between conscience and Success, New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2001.