Sermon

         The deeper meanings of our lives are in our life stories, especially the ones that demand our exclusive focus and reflection for understanding. Such a demand grabbed my life 14 years ago.

         I had been working at Unisys Corporation for four years. A young, male colleague, I'll call him Jeffrey, had become a good and delightful friend. On Monday mornings, he would share his Saturday activities of dancing, parties, and theatre, and his Sunday group of software video-game designers. After some years, other colleagues and I realized that he was going through a very difficult period of depression. We never spoke of it amongst ourselves, but as an expression of caring, I noticed that they, too, would leave him gifts of homemade cookies and cakes for we knew he loved sweet things. I knew he was seeing a psychiatrist.

         One Monday morning, he plopped down in my office guest chair and said he wanted to take me to lunch for he had something to tell me. I was puzzled since we always went out in a group for lunch on Friday-a sort of TGIF celebration.

         At lunch, Jeffrey told me that he was gay. I was astounded. He challenged my naivete. He said, "Did I ever mention a girl's name when I told you about dancing on Saturdays? Did I ever mention a girl's name at all? Didn't you ever wonder?" I shook my head and dabbed away the tears. "It just wasn't on my radar screen!" I said. "Oh well," I sighed, "If it's your choice!"

         Jeffrey uncharacteristically banged the lunch table and said, "It is not my choice. Don't you think I want a family? It's the one thing I want most in the world. I tried so very hard when I was in High School to have a relationship with girls. I can't. It's impossible!"

         I felt so confused. As I struggled with Jeffrey's declaration-I discovered that my California Unitarian Universalist church was was planning to offer the Welcoming Congregation curriculum. I signed up for it immediately. It was a ten-week course and I believe it broadened my understanding and thinking about human sexuality and what was "normal". In the coming months, we will offer The Welcoming Congregation course again here; it is a revised version of the one I attended in 1990

.          Within a year, two more of my friends came out to me. It was as I was ready and so they revealed to me who they really were. In some ways, I came out too-as a person who understands a bit more about human nature.

         Over the next several years, I saw Jeffrey blossom into a gentle and compassionate volunteer for many causes. He was to go on to become a playwright and a standup comedienne in Hollywood. He has been in a loving, committed relationship for more than ten years. I can think of no reason to deny people like Jeffrey the legal right to marry the person he loves.

         Marriage is for people to who want to make a public and legal life commitment. (As an aside, I might add that not all gay men and women are interested in marriage, just like some straight couples are also not interested in such a traditional arrangement.) All couples should be allowed to marry and enjoy the benefits of marriage and the rights it conveys. Some examples of these rights are:

         · the right be at the bedside of a critically ill loved one, without question

         · the right of inheritance without question

         · the right to have family health insurance

         · the right to have custody of children

         · and, most important of all, the guarantee that these rights are portable from state to state.

         Now, some folks say that same sex couples shouldn't have the right to marry because the Bible says so; they say it is God's word. Do you remember a radio personality by the name of Dr. Laura Schlessinger? People used to call in with questions and ask for her advice. In 2001, Dr. Laura made the comment that as an observant Orthodox Jew homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned in any circumstance. In response to this, someone wrote a letter to her and then posted it on the Internet. This is the letter (adapted):

         Dear Dr. Laura.

         Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

         I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to follow them:

         When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

         I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

         Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Why can't I own a Canadian?

         I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

         Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear readingglasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

         I know from Lev. 11:6-9 that touching the skin of a dead swine makes me unclean, but if I wear gloves, may I still play football?

         Dr. Schlesinger, I hope you can help me figure all this out. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your devoted disciple and adoring fan, Cheers!

         Perhaps you already know this, but I believe it is important to make one thing clear: pedophilia has nothing whatever to do with being a gay man. A pedophile uses children to satisfy his sexual urges. Studies of convicted pedophiles show that they are overwhelmingly heterosexual. You may find that your friends and family do not know this. I hope you can correct this terrible misinformation.

         With all this heavy-duty learning in my life, I sometimes wondered whether my own children would tell me that they were gay. They haven't but we will hear today Beverly Kruza's story. Beverly is a UU parent of Paige who is a freshman at Weslyan and who will also speak to us. What a tragedy it must be for parents who reject their children because of their sexual orientation. (Dear Reader, Beverly told us a story of how difficult it was for Paige to grow up in our school, being rejected and taunted by her peers just because she looked and behaved like a "tomboy". Paige was simply being herself. It shows us how little we have tolerated difference in our history. We were deeply moved and in great admiration for the wonderful human being Paige has become.)

         Sexual orientation is a difficult thing to understand because human sexuality is varied and complex. Even coming to terms with our own sexuality isn't easy.

         Unitarian Universalists were leaders in recognizing our society's lack of understanding about human sexuality. The 1970 General Assembly voted to develop a sex education curriculum to promote healthy attitudes towards human sexuality and also to end discrimination against homosexuals. The Welcoming Congregation curriculum was the product of this vote. I believe that this congregation offered this course in 1992. An updated version is available now and we could take it if we wanted to do so.

         Liberal religionists recognize that while the Bible has some wonderfully inspirational parts and some good teachings, it is, nevertheless, the work of human beings with all their prejudices and desire to manipulate. If we want to look to the Bible for guidance, we would do well to look at Jesus' example of the people he invited into fellowship with him-they were usually outsiders, those who were disapproved of by the temple authorities. Many religious people are fond of saying, "What would Jesus do?" It's clear to me that we need only look at his two Great Commandments: Love to God and love to neighbor.

         Is today's topic difficult for you? It was once difficult for me. I believe that knowing people who are gay helps to understand that gay men and women are just people, ordinary people like you and me. I am fortunate that my good friends came out to me.

         Gay men and women are people in our lives. They are people we know and admire and love. They might be our friends and neighbors, our brothers and sisters. Their sexual orientation is only part of who they are. What is important to them is what is important to all of us: relationship, affection, love, commitment, friends, family, and community.

         The spirit of Jesus' teachings was not to exclude anyone. He showed this by his actions. I hope we can remember this, for it is by not excluding anyone that we live in accordance with our first two Unitarian Universalist Principles of promoting the worth and dignity of all people and promoting justice and compassion in all human relationships. Opening our minds and hearts to these understandings will help to move our somewhat conservative country forward in its thinking.

         For thousands of years, people of homosexual orientation have had to hide in the depths of their being who they really are. We have the opportunity to help make a brave new world that no longer defines only the majority as "normal". We can move a little closer to building a land where in the words of the Prophet Micah: "justice shall roll down like waters and peace like an ever flowing stream".

         We are called to honor diversity and to respect differences, and to challenge those who would forbid it. We are people of a wide path. Let us be wide in affection and understanding and go our way in courage and love.