Sermon

May 7, 2006 

            How wonderful it was to thank our teachers this morning for their teaching, care, and nurturing of our children. I am always impressed that our children become confident Unitarian Universalist youth. Perhaps our acceptance of them and their ideas helps to develop their sense of self-worth. Of course, though, it is primarily their parents who make them feel cherished and wanted. Children who are not cherished and wanted are unfortunate indeed and likely to grow up scarred in some way.

Some of us are reading for our next discussion group on May 30^th a book called The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. Kite Runner is a deeply moving and riveting story that takes place in both Kabul, Afghanistan and California. In one scene, a young couple is lying in bed fantasizing about the ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes of their future child, the one that they want so much to conceive. Their intense hoped-for joy becomes a profound sadness when time goes by and they discover that they cannot have children of their own.

I noticed a lump in my throat at several junctures in the story for I identified with their plight. For me, however, there was eventually hope and I did go on to have two children of my own; they are grown up now. In some ways I am glad that I went through the experience of longing for a child and the sadness of not being fulfilled so that I can truly empathize with others in that position. The couple in the book went on to make the most amazing choices, but I cannot tell you what they were since some people are still reading the book. Even if you are not going to the discussion group, you are definitely missing something wonderful if you do not read it. I wouldn’t be surprised if it were made into a movie one day.

            We do not have to read books to know the agony of infertility or the agony of unintended pregnancy. Our own lives are full of stories that come with our biggest life choices.

More than 15 years ago, I was part of the Laguna Beach UU Fellowship in California. A 75-year old social activist stood up at announcement time every Sunday to ask us to write to our representatives to let the RU 486 pill be sold in our country. I’ll call her Brenda. She said that the French had been using it since 1988 and we should as well. The RU 486 was a pill that prevents conception; French school nurses dispense this pill upon request. In this country, it is called Plan B; that is, it would be if was released, which it could have been three years ago. It was all set to be released here in 2003 but the Bush Administration has blocked it, against the overwhelming Yes vote of the FDA advisory commission. (But then the Bush Administration has also blocked funds for family planning in third world nations as well.) The tentacles of conservative religion are far reaching and are making our decisions for us.

Let us return to our story of Brenda in the Laguna Beach Fellowship. Every single Sunday Brenda got up to say the same thing; we got to rolling our eyes, privately, for we all had the greatest respect for Brenda and we certainly signed her petitions.

After the service one Sunday, a good friend and member of the Fellowship, Elaine, a 50-year old woman walked with me to my car and remarked on how admirable and courageous Brenda was and she wished she had her persistence. She suddenly stopped walking, turned to me and said, “I had an abortion once.” We stood looking at one another, she went on, “Five years ago, when one of my daughters was in the Peace Corps and the other was in college, my husband was killed in a plane crash. It was devastating for us all. My menstrual period stopped and I thought that perhaps it was grief or I was moving into early menopause, like my mother. But then I began to experience morning sickness and there were other unmistakable signs. I was pregnant. On top of his death, this too was devastating. I decided to go to the infant departments of stores to see how I felt about this baby. After going to many stores over a few weeks, it was clear to me that no part of me wanted this child. I had an abortion.” All of this she told me without blinking once, as if she were seeing and reliving that time. Then she said, “I’ve never regretted that decision.”

            “The Unitarian Universalist Association was the first religious body to officially affirm a woman’s right to choose… at the 1963 General Assembly…on the grounds of ‘individual conscience’… “(Brown, 2004) In modern times, we Unitarian Universalists have always believed that the individual conscience was a reliable guide.

            You know that our first principle affirms the worth and dignity of every person. The woman who is pregnant is a person, a person most suited to make a decision about her body and what children she will bear. It is to be hoped that she has optimum support to make the best decision. I would like to say to you, “Try to stand in her shoes.” But I honestly do not think that you can stand in her shoes. I believe that a woman’s decision about her reproductive future is between her and her doctor and no one else and I would hope and pray that she had a supportive family, and a supportive minister.

            Every one of our Unitarian Universalist seven principles supports a woman’s right to choose her destiny. But a passage from the Bible also comes to my mind. It is the one in the book of the prophet Jeremiah who is depicted in the carvings on this pulpit. He was serving the Jews during their exile in Babylon and their preparation for return to Jerusalem. God speaks to Jeremiah and says that the first Covenant (that is, the Ten Commandments and all the other laws) didn’t work well so this time he will write them in the hearts of the people. These are the actual words from Jeremiah 31:33-34:

This is the covenant which I will make with the house of
Israel…I will put my law within them, and I will write it upon
their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
And no longer shall each man teach his neighbor and each his
brother, saying [instead], “Know the Lord,” and they shall all know me from the least of them to the greatest… [Jer. 31:33-34]

I interpret this as a brilliant and novel way of saying to humankind: You have evolved enough now and you can listen to your heart and let conscience be your guide. You don’t have to make up a vengeful God anymore to keep you good for now all that you need is inside you. You don’t need stringent laws; the laws are inside you; look within. Jesus echoed this message as well.

            Most major religions consider that a fetus is not a person until the fourth month of pregnancy. Judaism considers the fetus is a person when it takes its first breath. A Jewish woman will likely make her decision in consultation with her Rabbi. [The Coalition]

            There is broad acceptance in the major Islamic teachings of abortion in the first four months of pregnancy, though not in radical Islam. Buddhists say that this world is not perfect … [and]… they face the fact that abortion may sometimes be the best decision and a truly moral choice. [The Coalition]

            Arguments for family planning can be drawn from the main moral teachings of Hinduism and Jainism. Dharma [teachings] emphasize the need to act "for the sake of the good of the world." Producing more children than you or the environment can support is not "for… the good of the world." Overpopulating beyond your means or society's capacity is claiming more than you have a right to. [The Coalition]

            Native religions discouraged overburdening the land with overpopulation …. A Lakota woman put it this way: "Anything that has to do with our bodies is really our business as women, and as Lakota women, it is part of our culture to make our own decision about abortion." [The Coalition] All of this world religion information is from The Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice website. And the words are the exact words of well known leaders.

            We cannot anticipate all the hundreds and thousands of real-life situations in which a woman or frightened young girl will find herself. The poet, William Blake says,

            A human life is sacred.
            It is sacred in its being born.
            It is sacred in its living.And it is sacred in its dying.

            A woman faced with such a choice is fully aware of the sacredness of her situation even though she may not be able to express it. The choice to end a pregnancy is a profound one, one that the woman will remember all her life.

            If I had become pregnant at 45 years as Elaine had, I do not know what choice I would have made for myself. But to have a choice is sacred; it is also a human right, a birthright. If our world brought children into the world only if they were wanted, what a different and far better place this would be.

            In the book Behind Every Choice Is a Story by Gloria Feldt, there are many stories of women who brought children into the world that were wanted but they knew they were unable to care for them and so gave the children up for adoption. One birth mother said to the adoptive mother, “Please tell him that I wanted him very much but couldn’t keep him.” The picture on the cover of your Order of Service is the cover of Feldt’s book. I was struck by the picture of the women in fashions of the early 1900’s who I know fought for the right to vote and put their own lives on the line for our sake. And our freedom could not have been won if it had not been for the men, the good, good men that supported us.

            Whether or not to bring a child into this world is a complex issue and our own natural endowment can shape and force our choices because many of us are extremely fertile and can produce babies like bunnies. Others of us are not very fertile and yet exceptionally suited for parenthood. Some of us practice contraception to the nth degree and still become pregnant. Some of us end up in situations of terrible abuse from which pregnancy results—even in our own homes within our own family.

            I suspect that if we provide ample sex education and family planning information and devices, the need for abortion will plummet, as it has in Belgium and Holland. At this time in our history and with this Administration being in the pocket of the Religious Right, I have a great and grave concern. It is that this summer, the Administration might move to further curtail a woman’s right to decide her reproductive destiny for herself and so I have presented this topic to you today. If the quilt show were not in the Parish House and the coffee hour and luncheon were not outside, I would have had a signup sheet for those of you who will rally with me or write with me if a threat to women’s reproductive freedom occurs. If it does, I will come back from my vacation and contact those who will stand with me on the side of love; oh, yes, on the side of love. Next week I will have a sign-up sheet in the Parish Hall. In our unison reading, the Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, said, “Evoking the presence of the Great Compassion….let us pray that we ourselves cease to be the cause of suffering to each other…”   

            If need be, we can take social justice action together, but we will take it with Love as our Guide.

References

Brown, Rev. Elizabeth. “The Religious Case for Reproductive Rights,” a sermon delivered on May 30, 2004 at UU Fellowship of the Brazos Valley, Texas.

The Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice website. Managed by the Unitarian Universalist minister the Rev. Debra Haffner.

From a Tribute to William Sloane Coffin

From the website of The Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice

The Rev. William Sloane Coffin, the Presbyterian minister who died April 12 at the age of 81, saw social justice as at the heart of the Gospels. While his activism on civil rights, the Vietnam War, and the nuclear arms race was well known, his profound understanding of women's rights and moral decisions received less attention. In this regard, Bill Coffin should be remembered as a man whose beliefs were firmly grounded in faith, respectful of all life, and pro-choice. As he elaborated in an interview with Tikkun magazine:

"… to outlaw abortion would only reduce the number of legal abortions, not the total number of abortions. And it is the poor who would be forced to seek out more dangerous alternatives. The two countries with the lowest abortion rates in the world are Belgium and the Netherlands, where abortion is totally legal, but where society takes seriously its support for the poor. In short, on this painful issue I remain pro-choice, pro-women's choice."